Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
