When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
