whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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