3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize