you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
