That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize