I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
