Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
