you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
