u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
