..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
