hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
