im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
