I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize