you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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