I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize