70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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