I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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