So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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