After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
