The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
