but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
