I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
