never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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