I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
