So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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