Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize