I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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