i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
