I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
