Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
