Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
