he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
