that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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