I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
