Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize