i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize