May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
