Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
