Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
