is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Enjoy the penises
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
