i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Your cock deserves a montage
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
