oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
