I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
