I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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