dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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