apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
