Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
