Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
