Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
