Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How does one acquire holy water?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize