i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
