this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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