Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
