I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
