I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
