I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
third nipple confirmed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
