I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
