Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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