So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
