it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
