Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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